Dipsticks.blog

F1 fans treated to rare sighting

Formula 1 fans were shocked last weekend to find they were watching an actually good race. Despite fleeting glimpses in 2022 and 2023, the phenomenon has not been properly seen in F1 for at least 2 years.

The unexpected excitement all started when God had a wee on the circuit Gilles Villeneuve. What resulted was a mix of interesting strategies, interesting cockups and not one team, not two teams but THREE TEAMS all fighting for the win!

Max still won though. OF COURSE HE BLOODY DID!

Mercedes have caught up?!?!?!

You could argue Mercedes had the fastest car this weekend. They brought a completely new front wing to Canada and it seemed to work a treat with the car quite literally a match Red Bull. George took an incredibly satisfying pole time of 1:12.000 with a gap to Max of 0.000 seconds.

Mercedes couldn’t quite convert it in the race however. George lost time with a couple of spills allowing Max Verstappen and Lando Norris to get past. And a botched move against Oscar Piastri sealed his fate. If Mercedes can keep this up then we might have 4 teams able to fight for victory?!?!?! Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though.

Ferrari‘s weekend didn’t happen…

Last time out in Monaco, Charles and Ferrari were finally able to break the curse and win the Monaco GP. The magnitude of the victory was such that Ferrari allowed themselves to go on holiday for a month and took the executive decision not to turn up to the Canadian GP. Now of course, We know what you are thinking “But Ferrari WERE there. I saw them on track making a balls of the entire weekend” 

But don’t worry that didn’t happen, It was all a terrible dream. The Q2 exits were fiction. The pitstop onto hard tyres as it started to piss it down was a fabrication. and Sainz spinning and taking out Alex Albon was simply a figment of your imagination. Ferrari are in fact doing very well and are having a whale of a time on holiday. Don’t believe us, EXPLAIN THIS!

Another race, another dysfunctional performance from Alpine

Which is filled with more petty drama. A Sixth Form common room or the Alpine F1 team. Following another collision in Monaco Alpine decided to calm the fires with everyone’s favourite, team orders. Famed for their non incendiary nature and abilities to quell arguments, Alpine decided to order Esteban Ocon out of Pierre Gasly’s way so he could have a stab at fighting Daniel Ricciardo. Ocon was already rather peeved about this but their decision to not swap back when Gasly failed made him very angry indeed.

Perez, what are you bloody doing?

Between Monaco and Canada it was announced that Perez will be staying at Red Bull for at least another year and potentially all the way to 2026. Now as much as I can cling onto the glory days of his 2020 season. His form has been lacking if I’m being nice and disastrous if I’m not. Another terrible qualifying left him only 17th and his race was completely anonymous until he stacked it. The chances are he’s got the extension because he doesn’t rock the boat too much. I also suspect it’s because no one else actually wants that seat.

Still, for the love of god Sergio WHAT ARE YOU BLOODY DOING!!!!!

The rest of the season is still shaping up nicely

Max didn’t win the race by sailing into the distance at the speed of sound. It was just as much Mercedes and McLaren losing the race as it was Max winning. But if McLaren can keep this up for the rest of the year, if Mercedes have finally sorted their shit out and Ferrari don’t take any more time off. F1 is in a good place to keep it’s streak of suddenly getting interesting going for the rest of the season.

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next issue: 18th June